🩺 A PRESCRIPTION FOR: Resting Peach Face
Peach Hard Seltzer · 5% ABV
Patient: You
Condition: Chronic seriousness, mild thirst, possible IPA fatigue
Location of Diagnosis: Ocean Beach, San Diego 🌊 (specifically a certain brewery on Newport Ave…)
🔬 DOCTOR’S NOTES
You appear to be suffering from RPF (Resting Peach Face)—a condition marked by accidental scowling, excessive responsibilities, and a lack of bubbly refreshment.
Good news: science* has intervened.
*(science = fermentation)
💊 TREATMENT PLAN
Resting Peach Face is a crisp, refreshing peach hard seltzer brewed for people who:
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Want something lighter than beer
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Still want flavor
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Refuse to drink anything that tastes like regret or static TV
At 5% ABV, this prescription-strength seltzer delivers bright peach flavor, clean carbonation, and zero weird aftertaste. No bitterness. No heaviness. Just pure, stone-fruit satisfaction.
🧪 ACTIVE INGREDIENTS
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🍑 Real peach flavor (no fake nonsense)
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💧 Clean, sparkling finish
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🍺 Completely valid alternative to beer
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😌 Helps relax facial muscles you didn’t realize were clenched
📋 RECOMMENDED USE
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Consume cold
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Best enjoyed at a picnic table, barstool, or anywhere within walking distance of the Ocean Beach Pier
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Pairs well with sunshine, salty air, tacos, and not taking things so seriously
⚠️ POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS
May cause:
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Improved mood
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Unintentional smiling
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Saying “this is dangerously drinkable”
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Switching permanently to hard seltzers over beer (no shame)
🏥 DISPENSARY
Available now at California Wild Ales in Ocean Beach, San Diego — your neighborhood source for craft beer, hard seltzers, and other highly effective alternative beer options.
🧠 FINAL DIAGNOSIS
If someone asks why you’re drinking a peach hard seltzer instead of an IPA, simply respond:
“Doctor’s orders.”
Resting Peach Face
Relax your jaw. Sip accordingly. 🍑🍻
